Author: steff53

Judith was tired and overwhelmed. She never imagined shopping could be this stressful. There were cars everywhere, screaming toddlers, people pushing trolleys and then Judith, desperately trying to clamber her way through.

Things didn’t get much better once she got into the shop. There were people in every aisle and she felt disoriented. She sighed when she realised that several of the things she needed were out of stock. She would have to go to another store. But first, the check outs.

Judith gaped at the queue snaking its way through the entirety of the shop. Every till was occupied and she could see the hurried, frustrated expressions on the cashier’s faces, she felt a pang of pity. Well, there was nothing else to do but wait. All the noises around her were giving her a headache.

Everyone around her seemed to have trolleys laden with seasonal goods and festive items. Judith finally realised that people were doing their Christmas shopping and that was causing the uproar. She felt a mixture of annoyance and frustration at the clear displays of excess around her. Clearly, people didn’t think simplicity was the way to go.

Judith sighed and thought of what Christmas meant to her. Mainly… stress. Unfortunately. She felt there were so many expectations resting on the day. And she disliked the flamboyance of the whole thing. Her ideal Christmas would just be something cosy and homely.

Dear you,

The traditions and festivities of Christmas have evolved over the centuries. It is certainly a time for celebration but it has become so commercialised that many people do not look beyond the twinkling tinsel and appreciate the sentiment behind it.

Christmas is first and foremost, a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. His message and that of his followers named Christians is one of love, peace and joy. Or it should be anyway. In today’s tumultuous world, peace can often seem like it is in short supply. Just reading the news headlines is enough to confirm that humans are capable of monstrous acts.

Despite this, we all have cause for hope when we think of all the things we do have in this world. And if we move beyond material possessions and start to appreciate things like friendship, loyalty and love, we will be filled with even more hope.

I hope this Christmas becomes an occasion not just for celebration and merriment, but a conscious decision to live in love, peace and joy. I hope we all think of more than merely the presents we would like and the food we want to make. There are many in the world who will not have any presents and cannot even afford the basic food they require, let alone a sumptuous feast. Let us spare a thought for these people, help in any way that we can and thus embrace the true meaning of Christmas.

I wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas!

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith couldn’t stop cooing over the ball of fluff in front of her.

‘You are so cuuuuuute’, she couldn’t stop saying this over and over again. His big black puppy dog eyes, his small, round nose and all that fluff! He was irresistibly charming and playful.

More and more people were crowding around now. There were beaming faces all around. People were smiling contentedly. Small kids stopped to stroke him and screech gleefully. Other dogs circled around sniffing and barking, keen to play.

The whole atmosphere was lively and positive. Judith loved the exuberance that animals brought into people’s lives and looked fondly at all the furry friends around her.

Dear you,

Having a puppy has been an amazing experience. It has taught me the value of patience. Patience is defined as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious”. We can all acknowledge that life certainly is filled with delay, problems and suffering. However, annoyed or anxious is most often our response to this. Patience is not a virtue we exercise enough.

Especially in the current age, instant gratification has been grappling into people’s lives and become the norm. The young generation in particular are so used to having everything they could possibly need at a mere few clicks online. Waiting and anticipation has become a thing of the past.

So what is the point of patience? Surely it is just better to have things right away? Modern technology has made things so convenient, all you have to do now is ask Alexa to do your tasks.

Further thought into the matter reveals that too much luxury is slowly eroding away our capabilities. It is making us lazier and less productive. The marvellous skills and talents that have allowed us humans to survive thousands of years in a battle of survival of the fittest are no longer been practiced. Instead, we rely heavily on machines and outside sources to fulfill our needs.

Another highlight of having my puppy has been marvelling at his amazing displays of confidence. He leaps and jumps for things that are evidently way above his reach. He has an innocent sense of insatiable curiosity when encountering new things. He does not let anything get in his way, once he puts his mind to something (such as stealing our shoes, his most favourite pastime ever), he achieves it.

Confidence in good measure is an indispensable companion when it comes to our lives. Largely people may fall into extremes, overconfidence or lacking in confidence. But striking the balance can aid our lives in a positive manner.

Having a pet has been a remarkable experience in so many ways and it just shows that we can gain insight and learn things even when we may not expect to. We are all learning new things each and every day and let us hope that these things enrich our lives and help us enrich other lives simultaneously.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was chatting to her cousin Sienna. She had had a difficult time recently but was on the mend.

‘So, what’s new?’, Judith asked in a casual tone.

‘Oh, nothing much. College is so boring sometimes. Everyone just wants to pretend to be cool but they also want to seem intelligent but not geeky.. Do you know what I mean? Geek chic is the aim I guess..’.

Even though Judith’s college days seemed a million years ago, she actually did know what Sienna meant. Similar struggles had enveloped her college life too.

‘Yeah, I do know what you mean.. I was just the geek without the chic but some people seemed to just excel at everything’.

Sienna nodded vehemently. ‘Yes, totally! There’s this guy in my class.. My gosh, is he attractive. But he is like a genius too.. Lately all he talks about is the election and politics. So boring’.

Judith realised with a jolt that her cousin had turned 18 and could therefore vote.

‘Sienna, its your first vote! How exciting!’.

Sienna glared. ‘Ugh, not you too. Its not exciting, politics is so boring. And dad says that all politicians just lie anyway so what’s the actual point?’.

Judith protested, ‘But the vote is so crucial. You must remember the suffragettes’.

‘Yeah’, Sienna nodded. ‘They wanted women to get the vote too right’.

‘Yes. And they fought for it very hard. They did marches, they went on hunger strikes. Women died for the cause. You should read up on Emily Davison and Emmeline Pankhurst, really interesting and inspiring. Now come on, you can’t let all that be in vain’. Judith finished with a flourish. She felt like she had made a strong point.

‘Okay yeah, fair enough’, conceded Sienna. ‘I didn’t know they did all that.. I mean, to die for it, it must be valuable.. I guess the least I can do is vote.’

Judith beamed. ‘Excellent, lets make sure we read up on the different party manifestos and we will discuss it next time we meet. Every vote counts!’

Dear you,

We probably all have different views on politics. But living in a democracy is a blessing that we may not even recognise or appreciate. Life will have always have problems and therefore no system is perfect. However, there are still places in the world where people’s views, opinions and preferences are not taken into consideration and they are denied even the basic necessities of life such as food and shelter.

It is easy to forget all this when we live in the bubble of western society. We agonise over which filter to use on Instagram and which takeaway to order without pausing to think that we have so many luxuries to make our life easier. Furthermore, the freedom we have to speak, dress, act in the way that we please is something else we take for granted. The truth however is that this is was not always the case and people had to fight for it in the past.

The actions of the suffragette movement is a remarkable example of how perseverance and determination from a number of people in society can alter things drastically and even change the whole course of history. They could never have known in 1903, 116 years ago when the movement was founded that their actions would become so monumental, so much so that women voted, got involved in politics and even became prime ministers of the country!

As the UK general election on December 12^th draws closer, I hope you all choose to exercise your power and cast a vote. Whatever the future of our country may hold, let us remember that we have a part to play in this with the choices we make daily. History has proven that people in society can bring about huge improvements and changes so let us aim to progress further day by day.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was having a stifled conversation with her brother Jude. They exchanged pleasantries and made small talk. Quite inexplicably, the conversation turned serious.

‘Judith, do you ever think about the future? Like what’s going to happen to mum and dad?’, her brother ventured.

Judith frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, they won’t always be able to manage on their own will they? And the house isn’t exactly suitable for like mobility issues and things which could crop up in the future. It can be tough getting older but I know they won’t admit to needing help.’

Judith was somewhat confused.. ‘But they’re fine, I spoke to them just yesterday, they seem fine.’

Jude sighed as if he was fed up of her naivety and addressed her like she was a little girl. One of the things she disliked most about her brother.

‘Obviously they’re going to say everything’s fine. They won’t want us to worry about them. They’re our parents, they’ll think it’s their duty to look after us, not the other way around.’

‘Okay, yeah. So what are you saying?’.

Jude sighed again. A note of embarrassment crept into his voice as he spoke again. ‘Well, Judith.. you know I’ve got a lot on my plate. And you live closer to them. I mean… of course, I want to help.. and I will, financially.. But as for caring for them, I would be out of my depth, I wouldn’t know what to do.. Maybe they’ll need to go to a care home or..’

Judith replied sternly, ‘No, they’re not going to a care home. They care and love us unconditionally, they have since the moment we were born. The very least we can do is care for them when they’re older.’

‘Yes, I agree’, Jude answered quickly.

‘But then, you’ve just said you don’t want to do it.. You want me to do it, don’t you. Is that what this phone call is about?’

‘No, its just easier for you because you’re alone Judith.. I can try to help..’

‘You always do this Jude’, Judith said through gritted teeth. ‘When it comes down to the tough stuff, you never want to take responsibility. You’re meant to be the older one? Its fine, I am more than happy to care for mum and dad.’

And with that, Judith hung up the phone.

Dear you,

Families can be tricky. Sometimes, we hurt the ones closest to us. We may not even realise but they’re the ones we take it out on when we’re angry. They’re the ones we take for granted. We expect them to act in a certain way and get frustrated when they don’t.

The bond between a parent and a child is a remarkable one. No matter how old you get, your parents probably still see you as their little baby. They pour out their unconditional love and expect nothing in return. Of course, this isn’t the case for everyone. For some unfortunate children, neglect and abuse is what their parents inflict upon them.

Children can never really appreciate the responsibility that parents face, until the children themselves grow and have children of their own. Teenage years can be notorious for plenty of misunderstandings between parents and children. Teens are desperate to assert their independence and live their own life, parents inevitably find this difficult and want to still have control.

Our relationships with our parents obviously vary and I do not mean to generalise. But in every case, I personally feel that children have a responsibility towards parents too, not just the other way around. They were there for us through the sleepless nights of bawling when we were babies. They comforted us after every fall and grazed knee. They listened to us complain and moan and gave us advice. They expressed pride at every accomplishment, big or small. They cooked for you, cleaned for you, made innumerable sacrifices just so they could see you smile.

As parents grow older, we may not even recognise it, but they need help too. Getting old isn’t easy by any means and having supportive children can make a big difference. It might be inconvenient but family has to always be a priority.

I hope this post causes you to appreciate your parents more. They are the biggest blessing in my life and I hope to always live a life that makes them proud.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith stared around impassively. Family gatherings could be tiresome especially for an introvert like her. She had felt obliged to attend.

Luckily, no one was very interested in her so she was left in peace for the most part. However, there seemed to be some sort of commotion going on now. Judith craned her neck to see over the crowd, what was all the fuss about?

She froze when she realised what had occurred. Everybody was staring at the new arrivals – one of their distant cousins and his wife. Tom and Sara. They looked around at everyone defiantly like they had every right to be there but Judith could hear the mutterings and visibly see people shaking their head.

Judith didn’t have much of a personal relationship with her distant cousin Tom. Mostly, she just knew of him in a vague manner. But all that had changed a few years ago when he was sent to prison. Suddenly, the whole family were united in rage and shame, he was ostracized and she knew most people would have cut ties with him and deemed him a lost cause.

But now Tom and Sara just looked lost and vulnerable. She could sense that most people were outraged at their presence. But she also knew that they had no real reason to be, being judgemental was never the right choice.

She made her decision in a split second. She quickly caught Tom’s eye from amongst the crowd and waved him over. He looked extremely relieved and scurried over amongst people whispering and pointing.

When the couple arrived, Judith scooted over to make room. She said amicably, ‘Hi, I’m Judith, I don’t think we have actually properly met but I’m one of your distant cousins’. She smiled and could see that made them relax instinctively.

Tom seemed lost for words so Sara quickly retorted, ‘I’m Sara, Tom’s wife and this is Tom, obviously, you know that. He got out of prison a couple of months ago and this is the first time we have been out anywhere..’. Tom shifted nervously next to her but Sara gave him a reassuring glance, Judith could see the determination in her eyes, she was a brave woman and evidently, a good wife.

‘Oh, just ignore everyone else here. People can be far too judgemental sometimes. Don’t let that ruin your evening, we’ll just chat and get on with it and have a good time’, Judith said brightly. And so they did. The word prison never came up and why should it? Tom, just like everyone else, was not defined by one mistake or decision. So there was no need to make that the focus.

Dear you,

‘Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you.’ We all make mistakes, many of them. We may attribute it to circumstances beyond our control. It can be easy to justify our own mistakes and dismiss them. Or at the other end of the spectrum, we might focus on them too much and berate ourselves for our mistakes and feel hopeless. Both of these responses do not achieve much at all.

And how about when it comes to other people’s mistakes? Do we truly feel sorry for them or are we secretly glad that others have fallen short? Pointing out others’ errors can even be used as a method to make ourselves feel better. ‘Oh, at least I’m not as bad as so and so’. This is quite a ridiculous verdict to make and comparison with others most often is ineffective.

We never know what other people are going through. So what gives us the right to judge? ‘Don’t judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes’. Clearly, we are unable to undertake this walk and so can never truly appreciate other people’s motivations and reasonings even if we feel like we know the person well.

But what about when someone commits an act that is agreed to be morally reprehensible? Murder, rape, terrorist acts. Can we judge the people behind these awful acts? We might think we have a right to do so but actually we have no such right. It is natural to be enraged by their deplorable acts and we must surely condemn such violence but we can still not claim to be ‘better’ than them or place ourselves on a moral pedestal.

At the end of the day, we all make plenty of mistakes. We can either choose to judge each other and look down at each other because of this thus adding more mistakes to the list. Or we can try to be understanding and try and forgive and move on to a more positive future.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

This book first captured my eye from the new arrivals at my local library shelf. The serene blue cover which is reminiscent of skies and seas instantly catches the eye. The title also grabs attention, “The Beekeeper of Aleppo”. I realised I didn’t know anything about beekeeping but the word Aleppo had come to me from the news, usually with tragic undertones.

Reading the blurb had me further transfixed. It depicts that the novel is about a journey from Aleppo in Syria to Britain. The main characters are Nuri and Afra, a beekeeper and an artist who suffer immense loss and have to flee from their war stricken home. This piqued my interest enough to want to loan the book but a part of me was hesitant – this book would be sad and deep and I did not know how I felt about that.

Delving into the book was a fascinating experience. I instantly wanted to learn more about the central characters. The setting was England but it soon was transported to Syria. The flicks between the narratives were supported by the use of a word at the end of each chapter which acted as a link to the next chapter. This was an interesting technique that I had not encountered before.

Very soon after the start, we are thrown into a world of violence in Syria where unspeakable acts of atrocities have become commonplace. It horrifies you, moves you and draws you in even further. This is juxtaposed with the character’s experiences of England, such a contrast that the descriptions could have been about two different planets and not merely two different countries.

As the journey intensifies, we get the sense of foreboding that darker things are lying ahead but there is also a flicker of hope and a wish for a ‘happy ending’. The narrative takes us to Turkey then Greece and the prose is so full of description that the places become vivid and real in our minds.

More characters are introduced, their motives sometimes hidden and I found myself doubting, contemplating, fearing, hoping – this book certainly has the power to evoke a lot of emotions. But I could not deny that one of the most prominent emotions was sadness. I felt saddened by the loss and pain that the characters had to encounter again and again.

Towards the end of the book, there are some startling revelations. We are moved to the utmost peaks of compassion for the characters of Nuri and Afra, for enduring so much, much beyond what most of us could only imagine and still carrying on. Their determination and perseverance is remarkable and with this it ignites us in hope. Consequently, despite all the sadness in the book, it proclaims a story of enduring hope.

The pages after the end of the novel has some moving words from the author who herself volunteered in the refugee camps in Athens and was thus motivated to write this book. I would recommend this book, it is so human and real and will stay with you long after you have read it.

Judith could not believe what she was hearing. She looked around the conference room and felt aghast.

‘Why do you have such a moue on your face?’, her colleague asked.

She didn’t know what ‘moue’ meant, she would need to look it up later. But she could guess what her face looked like.

‘Can you believe it?’, she spluttered furiously. ‘That Sandra got the promotion?’.

‘Oh yeah’, her colleague nodded. ‘We all thought it would have been you’.

Judith shook her head in disbelief. Yes, it definitely should have been her! She had been working and working, slaving away at her desk day and night. She was determined and ambitious but not in an abstract way, she knew from an early age that hard work was crucial for success.

And she had worked hard. She thought of how much stress she had been under. How many sleepless nights she had spent. How many weekends she had to sacrifice to do her work. And after all that..? She didn’t even get the promotion that she so deserved?

She looked up at Sandra now, at her smiling face and striking features. Her insides seethed with jealousy. As if Sandra didn’t already have everything. Sandra was undoubtedly attractive in a natural, effortless way. She was impeccably dressed and lauded for her fashion sense. Everyone in the office marvelled at how efficiently she worked at all times. And to top it off, she was a skilful homemaker, she had a doting husband and two adorable children.

Judith walked out of the room before her head exploded. She couldn’t comprehend what had happened but she did know she felt jealous and bitter. Even as a young girl, she was fiercely competitive and feared failure. But as she grew up she realised, whether you feared it or not, failure was inevitable so you may as well make peace with it. But at that moment she felt anything but peaceful.

Dear you,

We have all been in situations where we have felt an intense sense of unfairness. Maybe our parents rebuked us instead of our sibling, maybe the teacher ignored our accomplishments and focused on someone else or maybe we just didn’t get picked for that prestigious role as Peter Pan in the school play.

Jealousy is just a human emotion like an array of others. Prolonged jealousy turns into bitterness. We feel as though we are the victim and life is ‘unfair’. After further contemplation, it becomes clear that life is indeed unfair. One just has to browse the headlines to be alerted to the massacres in the world.

Falling prey to bitterness and jealousy is something I have been guilty of myself, several times. The emotional burden of it is vehement. And with certainty I can say that feeling bitter and jealous has not brought me anything but trouble.

As with many feelings, we are often helpless. Our jealousy may not even be deliberate. We may justify it, who would not be jealous of certain celebrities? But being jealous of others undermines ourselves. We are ultimately stating that we are not adequate. That our life is lacking in some way.

However, jealousy and bitterness is extremely counterproductive because it does nothing to fill our feelings of inadequacy. It doesn’t improve our life in any way. Instead, it rages inside us and acts as a blot in our character.

To conclude, I hope this post emphasises how futile emotions such as jealousy can be. We cannot help it sometimes but we can try our best to combat it and adopt a more positive attitude to others.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was sweating profusely. The sun was beaming down on her, a fact that she usually appreciated but not today when she was trying to complete a long charity walk.

She could see that others in the group were also struggling. People were breathing heavily and looked ready to crumble. But she also saw that everyone looked determined. They were nearly at the finish line.

Despite her muscles aching, Judith felt a balloon of pride swell up inside of her. When she had signed up for the charity walk a few months ago, she hadn’t thought she’d be able to do it. She wasn’t particularly fit or healthy. But she had been able to utilize her self-control and prepare for the walk by doing more exercise.

They had been walking all day and as they neared the finish point, there was a flurry of excitement. And before she knew it, they had done it!

************************

Back home, Judith could feel her whole body protesting. She just yearned to go to bed. But before she did, she quickly logged onto her JustGiving page. She had set it up and been asking for donations and as today was the day of the walk, she hoped more people had donated. She was pleased to see she did indeed have many donations and words of encouragement. But then…

Her eyes widened and her mouth probably fell open in wonder. There was an anonymous donation of £100.00. She shook her head in disbelief, that was such a generous amount. And she had no idea who it had been.

Judith felt an immense satisfaction when she thought about how she could send off the money she had raised to her chosen charity soon. She knew the money would be put to good use and help those who needed it most.

She was extremely grateful for all her donations and for being able to complete the walk successfully. She also knew she should be grateful for everything she had that many others around the world did not have. She went to bed with a smile on her face, knowing that she had been able to make a positive difference to the world.

Dear you,

Charity is a word we hear quite often. There are a myriad of charities out there for so many causes. We see adverts on TV, we see requests for money from the charity promoters in the street, we get letters and leaflets and e-mails. Basically, we are all well aware that there are millions of people out there that need our help.

This thought in itself can be overwhelming and discouraging. What’s the point, you could think. Just giving some spare change isn’t going to change the world, right?

“We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” (Quote attributed to Mother Teresa). As this quote conveys, even if we feel like what we are doing is miniscule, it still matters.

It may be that a lot of us may not be able to realistically travel to disadvantaged countries to volunteer our services. We may not have the resources to promote charities or get involved. However, as depicted by Judith, there are always opportunities to step in and do your part.

And once you take a small step, you might be pleasantly surprised to find that there are a host of generous people in your life who want to support you. Think of all the advertising out there for popular objects such as the latest smartphone and people readily spending money to obtain then. Now think of how much more beneficial it would be to use advertising and promotion to encourage each other to be kind and generous.

So today, I encourage you to take small steps and be more conscientious in the way we view charitable actions. Small drops come together to make the mighty ocean and small steps on our part really could make a substantial difference to someone in need.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Tears were streaming down Judith’s face. This day was a lot harder than she had anticipated. She did not even know how to assign words to her tumultuous emotions.

She had not attended many funerals in her life which she was grateful for. But that also meant she had not known what to expect. So she had tried to put it out of her mind and just ensured she had a suitably black outfit to wear.

The atmosphere was exceptionally sombre. Even though her grandma would have liked this day to be a celebration of her life, there was not much celebrating going on at all. The finality of death had left them all wavering precariously.

Judith didn’t really spend much of her life thinking about the inevitability of death. She had been cosseted by her family and had been brought up in a protective bubble. Even as an adult, the closest she got to death was reading about it in the news but even then, she tried her best to ignore it.

Well, she certainly could not ignore it today. Her grandma in a coffin was right in front of her. Soon, her thoughts turned darker and deeper. Why did she have to die? Granted she had had a full life but still.. Death brought such heartache, why did it happen in such an unfair way? Small children caught in the clutches of terminal illness, young people murdered in horrific ways, car accidents where everything stormed to a close.

She did not know the answers, far from it. But she did know she believed in something more than just what the world had to offer. It just didn’t add up that this is all there was. There was certainly more to it and she sincerely hoped that her grandma was in a safe and happy haven away from all the troubles of the world.

Dear you,

Death is something we all have to come across in different measures. The pain and grief of losing a loved one is unparalleled and it really does not make any sense why it had to happen at all.

We may be able to control certain factors in our life. We can choose what to wear, what to eat, what parts of ourselves we project to others. But, life is full of surprises. There is absolutely nothing we can do when death ransacks people close to us.

It is in such terrible and confusing times that we are confronted with matters such as life after death. We may have the tendency to blame God. After all, the problem of suffering and evil is a major factor used as justification for the disbelief in God.

Exploring these themes is something beyond the scope of this blog. You may have strong opinions about such things. But whatever you choose to believe, I hope it offers you comfort and consolation.

The basis of religion was intended to be based on a foundation of love and peace. However, this has been misinterpreted and blurred so heavily that this foundation has dissolved. Instead, there is too much focus on technicalities and too much time spent arguing and complaining.

I hope that one by one we can all revert to the foundation of love and peace. Being faced with grief like Judith is in this post can be heart-breaking. But placing blame and being bitter is pointless. Your loved one would not wish that on you. It is far better to honour and keep their memory alive in positive ways such as donating to others and doing things for others benefits.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith had found it hard to believe when she had got the call. She was in the middle of preparing dinner after a busy day and the words had stunned her into silence.

‘Can you please come down here?’, her aunt had choked out in between tears.

She had agreed straight away and now was met by the bright lights and disinfectant smell of the local hospital. She made her way to the acute admissions ward.

Her aunt was still crying when Judith arrived. She looked helplessly at Judith and pointed to her daughter in the hospital bed.

Sienna, her cousin was lying there surrounded by drips and machines. Judith had never seen her look this pale or this disorientated. Her insides clenched with worry. Just then a nurse arrived to check on her.

‘How is she now?’, Judith enquired nervously.

‘Her vitals, that’s her pulse, heart rate and things aren’t quite stable yet. We’re monitoring her carefully. Its only been a couple of hours since she had her stomach pumped. We have largely ruled out alcohol poisoning but we are still waiting on some test results so it’s not certain yet. And drugs could be part of it too, not sure yet.’

Judith nodded dumbly. She couldn’t believe her ‘little’ cousin Sienna had drank so much alcohol to the point of collapse.

‘Where did we go wrong Judith?’, her aunt exclaimed after the nurse had left. ‘She doesn’t talk to us much at all. We didn’t even know she was at some party till the ambulance arrived and her friends were forced to call us. I don’t know my own daughter. What kind of mum am I?’..

Judith tried to be comforting but her mind was a whirlwind of questions. She felt that Sienna had always confided in her but she had no idea about parties or alcohol or drugs.

Judith quickly recalled one of their previous conversations about exam stress. Was that part of it? She just felt incredibly guilty for not being there for her cousin and hoped that drink and drugs would not become a forerunner in her cousin’s future.

Dear you,

We live in a culture where alcohol and drug use is rampant. It is introduced even from a young age and not surprisingly it can be a particular issue during teenage years.

As a teenager and even many years after that, we are trying to figure out who we really are. Our beliefs, our opinions, the crux of our identity. At the same time, we are inflicted with peer pressure and a horde of insecurities. An inner conflict may be sparked leading to confusion and uncertainty.

During times of such uncertainty, we may look out in the world for things to hold on to. We feel incomplete and unhappy and try to find something to fill the void. This is where alcohol and drugs can come into place.

As with most things, moderation is essential. But as a teenager, drinking sensibly is not much of a concern. As with Judith’s cousin Sienna, occasions like parties provide the outlet to indulge to the point of danger. It may not be deliberate in any way but the fact is that our bodies do not always respond as we may expect.

What needs to be recognised is that the emphasis should not be on the alcohol or drug use and solely reprimanding this behaviour. In the majority of cases, there are solid factors which influence such behaviour. There are deep insecurities and issues and the alcohol just acts as a mask to stifle it. An open and honest conversation could be all that it takes to completely change that person’s life.

So next time we hear of or encounter someone under the clutches of alcohol or drugs, lets take a moment to appreciate that there are many underlying reasons for such behaviour. Let us not be judgemental and instead see if we can lend a helping hand in some way. A little kindness goes a long way!

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊