Author: steff53

Judith had loved swimming as a child. It brought back fond memories of her father teaching her how to swim. And for a toddler, splashing and making bubbles was pretty much perfection. But it was a lot more complex now. The enjoyment had dimmed, it was more of a chore.

What made this worse was the ordeal of wearing a swimsuit. She imagined most people did this without a second thought. For her, the process was enormously tiresome. She hated her body and that was a fact. She was so used to hating it that she couldn’t even remember life before it.

Her friend always retold the story about when he went swimming with sharks. He was constantly trying to get her to try it. Judith didn’t actually mind the sharks one bit. It was wearing the swimsuit that terrified her the most. When you prefer precarious predators to one’s own body, you know something isn’t quite right.

She was edging closer to the pool. She couldn’t bear to look around, people would be staring. She just knew it.

Once she was in the pool, she let the water glide her along. She could hear laughter. She turned around startled. Were they laughing at her? 

She was met with the sight of a young child, probably around 2, sitting on a float and splashing the water wildly. She was giggling uncontrollably. Judith thought of herself doing the same thing all those years ago. She smiled.

Slowly, she began to realise no one was staring. No one was laughing. And perhaps no one really cared. Everyone was too busy in their own bubbles.

Once again, she battled with her own thoughts and reassured herself, ‘Its okay, I’m okay and my body is okay.’ If she repeated it enough times, maybe she would believe it someday.

Dear you,

Our bodies are amazing. We can breathe, we can think, we can feel. We take all that for granted and instead focus on our so-called flaws. They’re only flaws because someone defined them that way. What ‘looks good’ is a concept that changes with each passing day. So why should we make it our goal to attain this impossible mirage?

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” (This version of the quote attributed to Sharon Salzberg).

Read that. And then read it again. Let it sink in.

How quickly do you heal from a bruise? When you have a cold, how quickly does your badass immune system fight it? When you broke that bone, how amazingly did it heal after a few weeks?

There are MILLIONS of people out there wishing for a healthy body. Not a perfect photoshopped symmetrical face or six pack abs but just a body that works and isn’t dying.

“As you waste your breath complaining about life, someone out there is breathing their last breath. Appreciate what you have.”

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was staring intently at cheese. Red Leicester, halloumi, gouda. Brie, camembert, edam. She was hosting a party tonight and thought that cheese and crackers would be a simple option. Evidently not. She was never the best at making quick decisions. She needed time to process things.

In the middle of the aisle, Judith’s mind started whirring. Her thoughts turned to the party tonight. People, lots of people. Noise, laughing, conversation. The fluorescent lights of the supermarket turned ominous. Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move. Not again, she thought. Her insides clenched.

Her mouth was dry. Her palms were sweaty. Her heart was pounding so loud and fast, she was surprised that people around her couldn’t hear it. People. It wasn’t a good idea to think about people right now. But it was too late. Now, she was acutely aware of her surroundings. People must be staring, whispering, judging. Tears pricked her eyes, she felt terrified of all things real and unreal.

Dear you,

Mental health is still misunderstood by so many. Granted, it is not an easy thing to understand as it can manifest itself in so many ways. In Judith’s case, it is a full-on panic attack in a public place. Just think for a moment how you would respond to such a scenario. Would you stare? Would you be confused? Would you console them?

Now think again. This time someone is having a heart attack. Would your response be the same? No, it probably wouldn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I am not comparing the severity of a panic attack to the severity of a heart attack, all I mean is that in both cases people are struggling and in need of support. Yet, physical health is viewed entirely different in society. People are compassionate and accepting. But that thing called stigma prevents people from viewing mental health with the needed level of understanding.

Anxiety and mental health conditions are becoming increasingly more and more prevalent.

“1 in 10 young people experience a mental health disorder (Green et al 2005).”

“School learning, stress tolerance, confidence, motivation, personal relationships will be adversely affected (Layard 2008).”

“Untreated anxiety or depression can have a significant impact on employment, income and relationship stability in adult life (Goodman Joyce and Smith 2011; Green et al 2005).”

These figures are from many years ago. The situation now will have worsened.

So what can we do for this seemingly immense problem? “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” (attributed to Wendy Mass). The solution may be as simple as that. Kindness is what we need more of in this world. We are all capable of it and we must all develop and practice it.

Let’s build a world where Judith would be accepted. Where everyone with a mental health condition would be accepted.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Statistics acquired from following source: https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/anxiety-information/young-people-and-anxiety/

Judith was outdoors. She’d been looking forward to this camping trip for a while. But being here was not what she imagined. All her friends were talking about their new purchases and new accomplishments. She had nothing to contribute. She felt inadequate.

Night had fallen. She could not sleep, she kept tossing and turning. The thought of what could be crawling underneath the tent made her shudder. Ewww! She needed to get out of there, now.

Clutching her coat, she sneaked out of the tent. It was well past midnight. The atmosphere was calm, serene. She took deep breaths, the air was fresh and crisp. She looked around, her surroundings were encased in darkness. But not in a frightening way. She didn’t really mind the darkness. The darkness of her mind was what scared her the most.

Perhaps because there wasn’t really anywhere else to look, Judith suddenly looked up. Her breath caught in her throat. Wow! It was just… beautiful. Stars. So many stars. Everywhere she looked she was astounded by their beauty. She lived in the city and it was polluted. And she never had the opportunity or inclination to admire something as mundane as the sky.

But it was not mundane. It was absolutely breath-taking. It was vast and endless and infinite. It made all her problems seem small. She felt small. The beauty of creation led her to think about its maker. Something inside her yearned for answers. That void within herself screamed. She hoped someday she would find peace.

Dear you,

All of us have at some point marvelled at some aspect of creation. Waterfalls, rainbows, mountains. The beauty, the complexity, the grandeur. We cannot even begin to fathom how a lot of it works. Sure, science explains a lot and that is progress. But there are still so many mysteries in this world.

One such mystery is you. Me. And Judith. Our innermost thoughts and feelings. The way our brain processes everything is something that stuns us with every new discovery. The void that Judith feels is also another mystery. Some people seem to have everything – looks, money, success. But these very same people don’t feel complete. Something is missing.

We try and fill the void with many things the world has to offer. They satisfy us. For a while. But it is temporary, like so much in our world. So what is the answer? There is no one answer. In the complexities of this world, we must search and find what gives us peace. True peace. Having faith in God offers this. But so do a lot of other things.

Whatever you choose to believe, it should echo in your actions. Practice what you preach. There is absolutely no point breeding conflict and hate. These originate from the dark abyss of our hearts (the darkness of her mind as Judith puts it). But we must not let them overcome us. We must promote a message of peace and love. Each of us has this responsibility. In little but significant ways, we can all work together to make this world a better place.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was running late. Again. Today of all days. She had been too worried to sleep, the anticipation gnawing away at her insides. She had been working on this project for work for what seemed like a million years…

A frantic half an hour later Judith was trawling up the stairs, coffee in one hand, a stack of papers in another. The presentation would have started already. Everyone would stare when she walked in, reducing her to a muttering mess. Oh well, story of her life.

‘This is not what we’re looking for..’, Mr.Pickforth boomed. Judith was confused and concerned. All her hard work was being demolished to nothing.

‘It’s not a pitch that would make us money. That’s what’s important. Money. Sales. Figures. If you can’t even comprehend that simple idea, maybe you shouldn’t be working here at all!’, he screeched.

Woah! Things were going from bad to worse. First, her ideas had been completely shunned. Now, her whole job was being compromised.

Perhaps inexplicably, a memory quickly flashed through Judith’s mind. It was as vivid as reality – she saw herself, her 15-year old self, stood in front of her peers. It was school assembly. She was head girl. Judith’s voice reverberated in her ear clearly. ‘Our future is in our hands. And what matters is our dreams. All our dreams can become a reality. All you need is hard work’.

Judith jolted back to the present. She thought wistfully of her younger self. The naivety and innocence of youth. As she grew up, she had to face many harsh realities. And money was a big part of it. She had bills to pay. Her dreams would have to be forgotten for today. But maybe someday, she would find the courage to do her younger self justice.

Dear you,

The pressure that Judith faces is something many of us can identify with. The pressure to succeed, the pressure to earn money, the pressure to make something of yourself. Pressure can act to motivate us to try harder, do better. But the downside is that it can leave us as stressed out shadows of our true self.

Just like Judith when she was 15, we all had dreams when we were younger. It could have been inspired by a cartoon character or an adult we used to admire. Sure, they may not be the most realistic of dreams. But maybe that doesn’t matter. Maybe what we need to do is to think back to the days when happiness was our only goal. When other people’s opinions didn’t matter. You may have heard the saying – “Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life”. (Quote attributed to Arthur Szathmary, who attributes it, to an unnamed source). But it’s not that simple, I hear you say.

Well, that leads me nicely on to another quote, “Nothing worth having comes easy”. (Quote attributed to Theodore Roosevelt). So yes, following your dream won’t be easy, won’t be simple and won’t always be accepted. But what’s the alternative? You’re going to have to choose to put your efforts into something. So why not let that something be what you’ve always loved? Rather than it being the latest trend or the quickest money-making scheme.

So today, take a moment to think. Am I following my dream? Am I doing something I love? Am I making my younger self proud?

If not, I hope both you and Judith can find the courage to make that one brave decision that could change your whole life.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

P.S – We are now on social media! Please follow us on www.instagram.com/spreadyoursmileblog and like www.facebook.com/spreadyoursmileblog

Also, an important note – Judith’s story is not one that goes in sequence. Each blog post will start with an extract as above but it is not a continuation of the previous blog post’s extract. So this means that even if you miss one or two posts, you can just read the next one without having to go back and catch up from the beginning. I hope this is useful for you.

I am also going to try my best to keep the posts at a readable length – it will not be more than a side and a half on A4.

Thank you again. Keep reading and smiling 😊

Dear you,

The world is a funny place. There’s so much going on – let’s focus on the good. There’s one thing that binds us all together – being human. No matter how tall or small you are, no matter how incredibly attractive you are, no matter how much of a millionaire you are, none of us can escape being human. Amongst a multitude of other things, we all experience joy. We all experience pain. Joy, I think we can all agree, is pretty good huh? Cupcakes, rainbows, unicorns. But pain. That’s harder to deal with. We all have our ways but those ways aren’t always the best. However, there is PURPOSE in your pain. There is purpose in my pain and I believe a big part of that purpose is to use it for the good of others. It makes you kinder, it makes you more empathetic, it moulds you into a better you.

Talking of purpose, the purpose of this blog is simple. As the name suggests, spread your smile. We all have beautiful smiles, we really do. They’re not the highly manufactured expressions we make to take a good selfie.  They’re the expression of pure, unadulterated joy – the look on your face when you see an adorable puppy/baby, the look on your face when you achieve something, the look on your face when your friends make you laugh. These precious moments make us smile and that smile is something we all need to spread.  

Thus enters Judith. She is you. She is me. She’s the persona permeating this blog. She will share her memories, her experiences, her daily dilemmas. Each blog post begins with an excerpt about Judith’s life- a mix of fact and fiction. It may be based on my life, it may be based on others lives and it may be based on all of humanity – individual and collective. What follows is a bit about something – mental health, positivity, self-love, faith, pressure, stress. These are themes close to my heart but they are also universal themes. As you read, you identify yourself or others within the world created – it makes you think, it makes you feel and most importantly (I hope), it makes you smile!

Time is valuable. After all, we never get the same moment twice. “Don’t ruin a good today because of a bad yesterday.” So I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I hope you can join me on Judith’s journey – my journey, your journey, humanity’s journey.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

P.S – This is the notebook cover of my blog planner. What a lovely affirmation!