spreadyoursmile

Judith was tired of itching. She had chickenpox and had been stuck inside for over a week. It was definitely a frustrating illness to have.

She was starting to get fed up of being on her own. Although she was an introvert and appreciated her own space, she was also acutely aware of being alone.

When everything around her was quiet, it sometimes felt eerie. It felt uncomfortable because her worrisome thoughts really seemed to invade. So, she filled in the silences with music or podcasts or the television. She tried to ignore the fact that the thoughts were still there in the background.

Judith decided to wander out into the garden as it looked like a glorious day. Because she was on her own and because she was not focused on any activity, she was able to appreciate the stillness and silence around her.

And when she did this, she found that the worrisome thoughts and concerns in her mind were replaced with a sense of peace. A peace that only isolation and silence could bring.

Dear you,

We have been through and are still going through a time when ‘isolation’ has to be imposed. How do we deal with isolation? And silence?

We all tend to be aware of awkward silences and probably use our phones as a tool to deal with them.

However, there can be value in silence. In a busy world where everything seems to move fast and have immediate results, a time of silence and self-reflection can often be helpful. It can offer us a different perspective on things.

When was the last time you sat in silence for a good few minutes?

We don’t really tend to give ourselves time to be silent. As I mentioned, we use our phones or other technology to continuously permeate our minds.

But just imagine sitting outside – the sun’s rays caressing your cheek, hearing the birdsong, smelling freshly cut grass and looking up at the vast, blue sky.

We can only appreciate these small things if we properly focus in our silence. Otherwise, we miss them. And as we have all heard, it’s the small things in life that often mean the most. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was in a work meeting. Everyone was murmuring but a hush fell when the manager stood up.

‘We have had to make some difficult decisions recently. Certain team members have been found to be guilty of irresponsible conduct and are being suspended immediately. While investigations are taking place, the rest of us have to work together to fill the gaps’.

She could tell immediately that this would not be met in a positive way. Sure enough, people started protesting.

‘But why do we have to suffer for what they did?

‘We’re already stressed enough.. I don’t want to do extra work’.

The manager interrupted them and said, ‘Yes, I understand it is not ideal but it is for the good of the company. We all have to think of the greater good, not just about ourselves.’

Judith wondered if people would really be convinced to accept these words.

Dear you,

Life isn’t fair. Bad things happen to good people. Accidents, natural disasters, terminal illnesses. There are so many things that happen which we just cannot really understand and we are in the midst of such an occurrence right now – the pandemic.

As illustrated by Judith’s scenario, we have to do things we don’t like for the greater good. That doesn’t have to be an ordeal though.

Imagine if we all got what we wanted. At first, we may think that would be great. But pause for a second. Not everything we want for ourselves is good for us. In fact, when we chase pleasures, we often fall into excess.

An utilitarian response which means doing what is good for the majority is not easy but it is the morally upright thing to do. In these uncertain times when we are facing restrictions and rules that none of us like but have to follow, I hope we can see the value in it.

By following the rules, we are not only keeping ourselves safe and healthy but we are ensuring that we are not passing on the virus to others who may be more vulnerable and could really suffer badly with it.

Helping others is always worthwhile even if it means we have to face certain inconveniences.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith’s eyes were hurting. She had been watching TV for hours. Now she felt dazed and her head hurt.

She turned on her laptop next and again, hours had gone by and she had nothing to show for it.

‘I’m so bored’, she thought. She had a to-do list of things to do by her desk but that seemed too boring to tackle right now.

Her TV and laptop had turned boring. After all, it was the same websites and the same shows that she had always been accustomed to. It had become really predictable and monotonous.

She realised she needed to do something different.

Dear you,

Boredom is something we can all identify with. Especially under the current circumstances, when we have more free time than usual, it is so easy to fall into the trap of boredom.

The internet is spectacular in so many ways. There is no denying that. I mean, if it wasn’t for the internet, you wouldn’t even be reading this, right? But too much of any one thing is not healthy.

Although it might seem pleasurable to binge watch TV shows or play video games for hours, these are ultimately not really healthy behaviours for your brain.

There are so many things out there to explore and when we realise this, boredom doesn’t get a chance to invade our lives.

New languages to learn, new instruments to play, new books to read… How about trying things that are out of your comfort zone? Knitting, watching Shakespeare’s plays, going on a virtual museum tour..

This time can also be an opportunity to delve deeper into things. Personally, I have found it beneficial to grow in my faith. It has also been helpful with self-reflection. We often don’t have enough time to think about ourselves and who we are but it is important to have this internal appreciation.

Another idea that I have heard of many times and is worthwhile is starting a gratitude journal. When you list three things every day that you are grateful for, you soon realise that there isn’t much reason to be bored.

There is so much out there! And I encourage you to explore and enjoy while we have been given more time.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was going through a challenging time. She felt stressed. She felt anxious. She felt lonely. And most of all, she felt helpless because she didn’t know how to deal with it all.

The thing with struggling was that it just wasn’t something people admitted openly. She supposed that everyone struggled with one thing or another but no one really displayed any indication of this.

Accepting that you are struggling seemed like just admitting failure. It meant admitting that you just weren’t ‘good enough’ to cope with life’s troubles.

Asking for help was scary. It meant being truthful, to the extent of being vulnerable. Judith didn’t think she had the strength to do this.

So when everyone around her asked her, ‘How are you?’, she just replied, ‘I’m fine thanks’.

But she wasn’t fine at all.

Dear you,

‘How are you’ is one of the most common questions that we have been asked and chances are we usually reply, just as Judith did, ‘I’m fine thanks’.

But we are not always fine.

And that in itself is also fine!

We are human beings who go through many difficulties and troubles. We are capable of enduring a lot but we can also feel overwhelmed by the demands placed on us.

Accepting that we are not coping well is not easy. But it is necessary to progress in a healthy way.

Too often, just like Judith we dismiss our concerns and plough on. This may even be lauded as ‘staying strong’ but putting on a mask and lying to yourself isn’t really true strength.

There is strength in vulnerability and there is strength in being brutally honest.

No, not everyone will respond helpfully if you admit that you are struggling. Sometimes, they can give unhelpful advice. Sometimes, people may judge us. Sometimes, our worries may be dismissed and that makes the situation worse.

But there is always help out there. It might come in a way that you didn’t imagine. People may reach out to you that you didn’t expect. Doing certain hobbies may give you the time out that you need. Listening to a particular song, reading a new book, just going out for a walk, even something like that can help us cope with the challenges of life better.

So, don’t ever think that your feelings and worries are not valid. They are and you are cared for and loved.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was driving home and was halted in heavy traffic.

There was a big queue of cars ahead and she began drumming her fingers on the steering wheel impatiently. The sun was bearing down ominously, she normally loved the sunshine but it was making her car stuffy and uncomfortable.

Judith needed to get home as soon as possible as she had a million things to do. She was tired and hungry and fed up.

Finally, the traffic started slowly inching ahead bit by bit. Judith sighed and started up her car.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a big van steered onto her path. She shrieked out loud in shock as she narrowly missed a collision.

Judith was seething. She was livid at the careless driver who almost caused an accident. Her anger consumed her on her drive home.

Once she got home, Judith forgot about all the things she needed to do, she was too angry. 

Dear you,

Anger is a natural human emotion. But as we know, too much of anything is bad for us. And especially with anger, this is very true. 

The problem with anger (and there are many) is that it consumes us and affects us adversely. When we get really wound up, we can even feel the effects of it in our physical body. 

Our thoughts are affected and then our words are affected. We say things we do not mean in the heat of the moment. And by the time we realise we regret it, it is too late.

Nevertheless, there is justified anger in the world. There are many atrocities in the world that we should not be condoning. When we see our fellow man being treated unfairly, it is the right course of action to feel enraged on their behalf.

But most of our anger doesn’t fit into this category. We get angry because we feel are the one being treated unfairly even though this might not always be the case.

As in the case of Judith, we can encounter people who anger us but it is important to not let ourselves be so affected by it. Otherwise, it can ruin our mood and our day. 

Let us be people who choose to let go of anger even when it is difficult to do so. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Dear you,

This is the 50^th post and this blog has been running for over a year now!

This could not have been possible without the help of so many of you and this is a thank you post dedicated to you all.

Thank you to the group of people who made this blog possible in the first place.

The idea was mine but for it to come to fruition I had so much support which I am eternally grateful for.

Thank you to Judith for letting me tell her stories and the messages behind them.

Thank you to the wonderful person who designs the posters, countless images and makes everything look amazing.

Thank you to all those who distributed and displayed my posters.

Thank you to every one of you who gave me feedback on my posts.

Thank you to all those who said they were inspired by my posts in some way and could relate to them, that is just so rewarding to hear.

Thank you to everyone who promoted the blog on their own social media accounts.

Thank you to all the followers on Instagram and Facebook.

Thank you to my sister who has been fundamental in keeping the blog going. Thank you for always encouraging me to keep going. Thank you for reading and editing the posts. Thank you for your heartfelt support and enthusiasm.

Thank you to my mother who reads every post and also likes and comments on Facebook every single week. Your encouragement and support is so valued and I hope I make you proud.

Thank you to you if you have read all my posts, some of my posts or just even one post. I appreciate the interest you have shown and it is a privilege to be able to share my writing with you.

Thank you to you if you haven’t already been mentioned by me.

And lastly, most important of all, thank you God.

Judith had an unexpected call from her aunt.

It wasn’t good news. Her uncle, always seemingly healthy, had been admitted suddenly to hospital and was critically ill. The whole family was in distress.

Judith had many plans for the days ahead but decided to cancel them all and go support her family. She realised she always assumed her uncle and aunt would be there for her because she had grown up around them and they had been so valuable.

Suddenly, faced with the thought that things were uncertain, she felt a flurry of anxiety. There was no guarantee that her uncle would get better. She didn’t even know how long she would have to be away for and wasn’t sure she could get more time off work.

As someone who liked to plan and organise everything, the thought of the future being uncertain really troubled her. But she realised with a jolt, that life was always uncertain.

Dear you,

Difficult times also mean that the future is uncertain. The future is uncertain usually anyway but during crises we are more aware of the fact that nothing is guaranteed. We are alive and well today but there is no guarantee that it will be the same tomorrow.

Rather than seeing this is as a distressing thought, we can engage in a new perspective. We can decide to make the most of the time we do have. We can decide to really cherish the time we spend with friends and family.

It is only when we lose or risk losing things that we sometimes realise how much those things meant to us. Not being able to do certain things should lead us into an appreciation of things which we were probably taking for granted.

And it is not just the things we enjoy that we should appreciate. If we look at everything around us, we are able to find joy and enjoyment even in seemingly small things like the colour of the sky or the petals of a flower.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was at a social gathering and people were discussing various topics but mainly complaining about the trivialities in their life.

She heard one person say, ‘I’m not racist but..’.

In Judith’s experience, sentences that began like this often did express views that were racist or in some way bigoted.

She also knew that dealing with such people was difficult as they often completely and obstinately believed that they were in the right.

A lot of it had to do with the media, the person’s upbringing and a myriad of factors. But Judith felt that she had a responsibility to be the voice of reason when prejudice was displayed.

Dear you,

Fear is a common emotion and quite a palpable one. Often, the underlying issue behind fear can be ignorance.

Fear is natural in a way, human beings have a survival instinct that has kept us alive for long. Part of that instinct is to gauge fear and respond appropriately.

However, we do not really see any huge, gigantic threats to society on a regular basis. It can be smaller things that people fear and then the fear can be projected onto a certain set of people unfairly.

Before we get scared and panic, it is always useful to have as much accurate information as possible. Knowledge can indeed be power and when we stop for a moment and think about things rationally, we often realise that things are not as bad as we might have thought.

Even if things do seem really bad, being fearful and spreading this fear only makes it worse. It is also pointless to blame others in society or start up any conflict.

As always, we must remember to be compassionate because co-operation is the best course of action.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith hugged her mother tightly.

When she was a kid, she was beside her mother 24/7. Every tiny thing that bothered her, her mother would be there to fix it. She had wiped away so many tears, plastered up so many cuts and soothed her in so many ways.

Then she grew up and thought that she didn’t need her mother anymore. She was a teenager, nearly an adult. So she could do what she wanted, she had mistakenly thought. A mixture of hormones and peer pressure and rebellion meant that she had drifted away from her mother.

However, as she grew older and a bit wiser, she realised again how incredible her mother was. Being an adult was not easy in any way. Judith needed guidance and her mother was always there. She always seemed to know what to do. And she was always right.

Dear you,

A bond between a mother and child is unlike no other.

Our mothers were our very first place of refuge, they kept us safe and well and they continue to do so every single day.

I cannot comprehend the depths of a mother’s love. The pain they experience doesn’t stop with childbirth. Children keep inflicting pain on their mothers as they grow up by ignoring them, by neglecting them, by constantly disobeying them.

But a mother’s love is unconditional. You could do atrocious things but your mother will still love you. Her love isn’t based on your actions, it is a love that we don’t always deserve.

We also tend to take our mothers for granted. They are always there for us so it is easy to just get used to them. But we should not do this. We should pause and reflect at times how incredibly special they are.

I would like to dedicate this post to my own mother. She is an extraordinary woman who constantly strives to do the best for her family. She cares for us, worries for us, feeds us, clothes us, instructs us, teases us, disciplines us.. The list can go on forever because a mother’s role involves a million sacrifices.

I hope you are all fortunate enough to be blessed with wonderful mothers and that you are able to spend some time to contact them today.

Let us cherish and love our mothers, always.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was watching the news with a sense of dread.

She thought it was important to be aware of what was happening in the world. After all, she did not want to be ignorant of important issues.

However, she did find that sometimes it seemed like all doom and gloom. The news always started with and emphasised the things that were going wrong in society.

But the reality was that there were many examples of kindness and generosity out there. Even in her own life, Judith recognised so many moments when others had been kind to her and expected nothing in return.

As Judith watched the news about the latest calamity, she felt reassured that humanity would make it through the difficult times by working together for a better world.

Dear you,

When difficult times come, we are required to use our inherent capabilities to deal with it. Rather than spreading fear, times of distress can be a good opportunity to spread our generous actions.

There are people out there who might need your talents and resources. We may not realise that but humans are designed to be social animals who work together to thrive in society.

Having a crisis also gives people a shared goal to work towards. We must stand united in facing the things that could endanger us. After all, we have survived all these years. We have survived world wars, natural disasters, countless epidemics and we all have survived many struggles in our personal lives.

When we go through crises together, we realise that despite differences in age, race, preferences etc we all care about the same things at the end of the day. We all just want to be as safe and happy as possible and we want the same for our loved ones.

Let us all stand united.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊