spreadyoursmile

Judith was spending time with her teenage cousin. 

‘Can you put your phone down for one second?’, she asked with a sigh. 

‘Just give me a minute.. I need to keep my snap score up’. 

These words meant nothing to Judith and so she frowned.

‘Right.. Can you at least tell me what you’ve been struggling with?’ 

‘Erm… What do you think my story should say? ‘Living my best life’ or ‘Life is perf right now’? 

‘Neither. Because that’s not the truth. You’re struggling.’ 

‘So …? I can’t put that on social media’. Her face twisted into an outraged expression.

‘Why not?’ 

‘Cos you just can’t. On social media you always have to appear cool, you see..’

‘So … lie basically?’

‘Well.. yeah. It’s better to lie than appear uncool.’ 

Dear you,

When things are going well for us, we usually can’t wait to proclaim it from the rooftops and let the whole world know. 

But when things aren’t going well, especially in our personal life, there can be a tendency to hide it. 

Why? 

Society glorifies success. 

Somewhere along the line, we’ve been fed the lie that who we are is based on what we have achieved. 

This is not true.

We are much more than our achievements and we are also much more than our struggles. 

Social media is filled with people trying to appear more poised and perfect than they actually are.

What we need is more people who openly admit that they are struggling because that’s what real life is about.

We all have our struggles and sharing it with others can help each other overcome the struggle.

On the other hand, if we only constantly see only one side of people, we feel like we’re alone in our struggle. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was on a bus for the first time in a long while. 

She felt disconcerted by the sounds and smells, a lot seemed to be going on. 

She squeezed into a seat and looked around. 

Everyone she saw was on their phone or had their earbuds in. It was eerily quiet. 

After a few moments, Judith noticed that a lady in the same aisle as her looked like she had been crying. 

She averted her eyes quickly, not sure what to do in this situation. 

Judith wasn’t very good at making conversation, especially with strangers. 

However, something inside her felt moved with compassion and she wondered how she could talk to the lady. 

After a while, she just blurted out, ‘Are you okay?’ 

The lady looked at her, surprised. Judith could tell from her expression that she was the first one to have noticed her all day. 

Her heart ached thinking of all the people who had no one to talk to. 

Dear you, 

Most of us are surrounded by many people on a daily basis. Thesec may be the people we live with, work with, relax with and many others.

However, it is a sad reality that there are many people who do not have anyone at all they can interact with on a daily basis. 

Even though there’s people everywhere you go, that doesn’t mean there’s always an opportunity for human connection. People tend to generally be busy with their own thing or in this day and age, consumed by their phones.

This leaves some people feeling forgotten, lonely and isolated. 

Instead of ignoring this reality, let us try to be more aware of it. When we are surrounded by people, let’s pay more attention to them. 

Let’s respect each other and uphold our dignity as people. If we see people who are struggling or simply just alone, let’s be brave, smile at them and talk to them. 

You might be the only person they speak to all day. And you never know, one day, you might be that person who is alone waiting for someone to approach you. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was walking through the streets and scowling in dismay.

There was litter everywhere ranging from dog poo to bottles to food remains. People seemed to easily discard things and walk away nonchalantly.

This frustrated her especially as there were bins readily available everywhere. 

She expressed her irritation to her brother Jude.

‘Well, it’s a free country. People can do what they want’. 

Judith glared at him. 

‘I mean, I’m not saying it’s right. I’m just saying people do what they want. Whether it’s right or not.’ 

She reflected on this. What was the point of being free and independent if you didn’t use it for good? 

Dear you, 

Independence is esteemed highly in society. From a young age, we are taught to do things by ourselves and think for ourselves. 

When we reach the young adult stage, we ourselves passionately take on that fight for independence. 

This is a positive occurrence, it helps us develop our beliefs and hopefully to act out against injustice. 

But our independence can very easily be taken for granted and abused. 

Sometimes we can adopt the mentality that we can do whatever we want without fully considering the consequences. This means that we are only indulging in our independence and not upholding the responsibility that comes along with it. 

It is therefore important to realise that our independence carries with it a responsibility. A responsibility to do what is right. And not just what you think is right but what you think is for the greater good for everyone.

Let us also remember that people in the past fought bravely for the freedom and opportunities we experience today. This is another reason to honour our independence. 

We can try to be more mindful of what we are doing and how it affects others around us as well as the environment. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was people watching. 

As usual, people were rushing past laden with shopping bags. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry. 

Apart from one elderly gentleman. 

He was taking his time and using his walking aid which alerted people to the fact he was visually impaired. 

He was also accompanied by a furry companion. 

Judith watched in awe as the dog directed the man efficiently. 

After a few minutes, he came over and sat on the same bench as her. 

‘Wow, your dog’s really clever’. 

The man smiled. 

‘Yes, she is. My Bella. But much more than that, she’s really loving.’

Right on cue, Bella started wagging her tail. 

‘Look at that, she understands you.’

‘Of course. She’s the only one who loves me unconditionally’. 

Dear you,

This post is dedicated to my amazing dog Snickers as he came into our lives three years ago today.

It would be impossible to describe all the things I’ve learnt from Snickers. He honestly has had a massive impact on my life.

One of his finest traits is his ability to love unconditionally.

He doesn’t judge people. He doesn’t hold grudges. He doesn’t care about your flaws.

He just loves.

This is remarkable and admirable. On top of that, Snickers is extremely loyal, loving and perceptive with human emotions. 

Dogs seem to be very attuned to how we are feeling and they know how to comfort us at the right time.

They are very relaxed and easy going, happily staring out of the window and watching the world go by. It’s a much needed reminder to just breathe and live in the moment. 

They are also extremely entertaining and Snickers has provided our family with an endless supply of joy and laughter.

There is so much that human beings can learn from dogs. I feel that dogs are more ‘human’ than humans are as they show qualities such as kindness and compassion better than humans do!

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was feeling overwhelmed.

There just seemed to be so much to do. She had so many tasks to get done, so many responsibilities to fulfill. 

And that was just the case for now. There were so many other things she had to figure out about her future plans. 

‘One step at a time’, her friend Ingrid said to her simply. 

Judith raised her eyebrows. 

‘Well, it’s true. You can only do one thing at one time anyway. So just do that’, Ingrid explained.

‘But there’s so much to get done’, Judith moaned. 

‘Okay, that’s why it’s important to take one step at a time. Rather than feeling stuck, worrying and not doing anything at all.’

‘So what do I need to do then? Just take the first step…?’

‘And then another, then another one. Soon you’ll get there and you won’t have wasted too much time worrying’. 

Dear you,

We can all feel easily overwhelmed by the demands placed on us. 

There always seems to be a lot of things to get done. And even before we finish one thing, the next thing is on our mind.

However, as Judith’s situation highlights, it is important to remember to focus on one thing at once. 

If we don’t do this, we get distracted and consumed by the enormity of what lies ahead. 

Even the biggest task can be split into smaller chunks making it much more manageable. 

“One step at a time” is always a good motto for life. It reassures us that we are only capable of small steps but that is enough and that we need to be patient with ourselves. 

So today, let’s take one step towards something we need to get done. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

‘I got a new job’, her friend screeched.

‘And we’re moving to a new house’, chirped another.

‘Well, we’re really settled now. So next step is kids’, stated someone else.

Judith looked around at all the people around her. She was happy for everyone’s accomplishments, she really was.

But she also wondered why it felt like a competition rather than just everyone sharing news and catching up.

She had noticed it at work and other settings too. People seemed to think life was a competition.

But who were they competing against?

Everyone had their own personal attributes, skills, experiences and circumstances. So every person’s life was different and unique.

So then, it made no sense that life was treated as a competition. When in fact it was a journey we all go through at different paces.

Dear you,

Chances are that you’ve felt the same as Judith at some point. You’ve felt that life is like a competition and people around you seem to be achieving things and then shouting about it.

But this is a very limited and flawed way of looking at life. A competition implies a level playing field. However, we know that life is far from fair and some people start off with many opportunities and rights given to them whereas others don’t.

A competition also infers some sort of victory and prize. We certainly do have many victories in life but there is no one thing we can say makes our life victorious as life is made up of so many different parts.

Achieving things is good in itself but I want to emphasise that this should be done in a healthy way. The mindset should not be of achieving more things than someone else but trying your best and challenging yourself to grow as a person.

Seeing life as a competition puts unnecessary pressure on ourselves and causes us to compare ourselves with others which is harmful.

Instead, let us strive to encourage and support each other in our different life journeys.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

‘Why do mum and dad always wanna know who I’m with? They’re so nosy’, her teenage cousin sighed and rolled her eyes at Judith. 

Judith remembered caring a lot about her friends as a teenager. Her parents were fairly relaxed but they would be wary about who she spent time with. She didn’t understand this back then but she did now. 

‘Actually, who you spend time with matters a lot. It has a big impact on the person you become. In good ways and bad ways too.’ 

Her cousin groaned.

‘Not you too. My friends are fine, we’re not going to get into any trouble.’ 

‘What you all spend time talking about and doing, it moulds you. Your brain is still developing and your friends are influencing the adult you will become.’ 

‘So what do you want me to do?’

‘Pick your friends carefully. There may be people who you can have a laugh with and that’s great. But when you’re struggling with things, are they still there for you?’

‘Hmmm…’

‘Also consider if your friends are supportive of you and your goals? If they are helping you grow as a person or if they want you to just fit in with them.’

‘I don’t know.. I guess I never really thought about it much’. 

‘I didn’t either. But now, I realise I should’ve thought about it more’.

Dear you, 

A lot of things change as we grow older and our friendships are part of that. 

When we’re young, we want everyone to be our friend. As we get into the teenage years, we place a lot of importance on who we hang out with and it even seems to define our life. 

It is important to realise that we are influenced by those around us, especially if we spend a lot of time with them. We pick up mannerisms and habits from others without even realising. 

This highlights the necessity of surrounding ourselves with good role models. 

We have the ability to encourage and build each other up. Let’s take that opportunity!

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was reeling from shock. She had just heard about the death of someone she knew. 

She did not know how to respond, what to do or feel. 

She thought of her friend, the memories they had shared, the life she had lived. 

But most of all, she thought about death. 

‘Why?’, her mind immediately screamed. Why did this have to happen? 

She knew that death was a certainty, in fact the only thing we can be certain of in this life. 

But she chose not to think about it and lived under the impression that it’s something to think about much later in life.

Days like today made her realise with a sickening jolt that death could happen at any minute to anyone. 

Rather than seeing this as terrifying, she tried to think of it another way. 

If she knew she would die soon, how would she live her life? 

Dear you,

Death is a difficult and sensitive topic and we all have differing ways of dealing with grief.

We all have experiences of dealing with the death of others to some extent.

In this blog post, I want to focus on our own death and why being mindful of this can be important. 

We all are sometimes in a state of blissful ignorance when it comes to death as the majority of people do live to old age. 

However, if we really think about death, it forces us to really think about life.

Are we living our life in a way that we want and should? 

We hear of people who are told they only have a short period of time left to live. They then go on to do the things they really want in life. 

What if we just did that each day? 

We would spend each day doing the things we love, living a meaningful life rather than wasting it away. 

The inevitability of death should cause in us an appreciation for our lives. Each day, the people we meet, the experiences we have are all precious. 

Let’s live well so that when we are near death, we don’t look back in regret but with gratitude. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was scrolling through social media. She thought about life as it appeared on screen versus life as it actually happened. 

Online it seemed everyone was in a competition to show off how great their life was. But when she spoke to those people in real life, they talked of many struggles.

One thing she had noticed being said a lot was “But others have it a lot worse, I should be coping but I’m not, what’s wrong with me?”

This was a question she had often asked herself too but she did not anymore because it was not useful. 

Yes, others may have things a lot worse in theory. But that does not make your struggle any less painful. 

And when you’re already struggling, it is not helpful to beat yourself up further and blame yourself for your response. 

Judith knew now what she did not for many years. She knew the truth. 

There was NO shame in struggling. None at all. It was merely human. 

Dear you, 

With our world collectively and individually being consumed by a life behind screens, we may be tempted to judge others based on their online presence. 

This would be a mistake. Human beings are far too complex to be quantified by what they post online. 

One thing is for sure. Every single person struggles and suffers. This is natural.

Shame can creep in easily when we ourselves realise we are not coping or struggling. 

This can then lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms as we feel we need to hide our true feelings and just ‘get on with it’. 

I can tell you this, there is no shame in struggling, there is no shame in speaking about it and there is absolutely no shame in struggling over and over again. 

Remember, our struggles and sufferings, the way we deal with them, the perseverance and endurance we learn is what propels us and makes us grow as people.

Embrace the struggle. And in hindsight, you’ll be thankful for your struggles because it led you to where you are now. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith had noticed that one of her friends seemed to be ignoring her. 

She wasn’t sure what she had done wrong but she had been thinking intensely about it. 

Being a natural people pleaser, she found it hard when people weren’t happy with her. 

She always assumed it was her fault somehow. 

Later on that day, her friend called Judith to talk. 

‘I have some bad news, a lot of bad news actually’, she said. 

It turned out that her friend was going through a really difficult time and was struggling to cope. None of it was about Judith. 

Judith berated herself for being so self-centred and vowed not to make the same mistake again. 

Dear you, 

We all tend to judge others in various ways, sometimes without even meaning to do so. 

People have such a vast spectrum of personalities and characteristics, not everyone is going to act the way you would want them to and not everyone is going to be your friend.

Often, we may make certain assumptions about people, even the people close to us without realising that there is much more to the story. 

What we think is the problem may often not be the problem. Like Judith, we may focus on ourselves more rather than thinking about it from the other person’s perspective.

It’s very important therefore to be non-judgemental and empathetic when dealing with people. This applies to all the people we meet and deal with. 

Others are going through difficulties and struggles that we don’t know anything about. We don’t want to add to their troubles but rather be a supportive and encouraging presence.

If people don’t talk to you or seem off, don’t make the situation worse by imagining things in your head. Having a frank and honest conversation is probably what is most needed. 

It is comforting in a way to realise that everyone is struggling, it is not just you. Let’s help each other bear our struggles better. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊