spreadyoursmile

Judith was watching some historical documentaries.

She’d been so fascinated by history at school and it continued to interest her. Learning about different eras and countries and events always made her think.

The events of history showed how different people were back then but also how similar people were in many ways. All through the ages, people cared about the same things. Family, community, living a life of purpose.

Despite the remarkable progress made by humanity through the years, there had always been conflict, violence and war which devastated lives.

As she watched a documentary on the second world war, Judith’s heart sank at the destruction and despair caused my men’s evil actions.

As naïve as it may seem, she hoped for an end to war and a world marked by peace.

Dear you,

It is not very often that I put forward strong opinions in my blog posts. However, I strongly believe that war is evil.

The destruction caused by war is catastrophic. The repercussions of war does not merely lie in the places destroyed but goes much deeper.

Firstly, consider the emotional and mental trauma. The sounds of bombs whirring overhead, having to hide or flee, terrified of imminent death.

Even if you escape from the fighting itself, you’re torn away from your homes, everything you’ve ever known. Many are separated from other family members.

Life just becomes about somehow surviving. Suffering is everywhere.

The most heart-breaking thing about war is that it is done to human beings by other human beings.

Killing each other is never ever justified and can never lead to anything good.

In the face of the current war scenario, I urge you to do what you can to help. This may be donating money, collecting supplies or offering up a prayer.

We may not be able to change the situation but we can show kindness and goodness. We can have hope and faith. We can be examples to the world that love will always triumph and that hate has no place in this world.  

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was listening intently to her neighbours’ children arguing.

‘No, girls are better’, came a screech from one side.

‘Boys are the best’, came a shout from the other side.

It seemed that this sort of argument was a regular occurrence amidst the siblings.

She thought back to her own childhood with her brother Jude. There had been times when they both argued that their gender was better in some way.

Judith wondered where this tendency had come from to pit male and female against each other in some sort of competition. It was clear to her that there needed to be unity not division.

She looked at the children and proclaimed loudly.

‘Actually girls aren’t better than boys. And boys aren’t better than girls’.

The children stared.

‘They’re both great in their own way. They’re different from each other but in a good way. It’s not a contest, they’re both wonderful’.

Dear you,

We celebrated International Womens’ Day recently.

As mentioned above, sometimes there’s a focus on comparing women to men or vice versa. However, it may not be particularly useful to do this.

Men and women are not made to compete against each other for some form of superiority. Men and women are created to complement each other.

When we think of women, we think of many good attributes – kindness, gentleness, strength to name a few.

All of us were born and hopefully loved and cared for by a woman. On the contrary, some people may have had very difficult relationships with the women in their lives.

Rather than seeing it as a day of comparing women, I hope International Womens’ Day is a reminder to celebrate all the incredible qualities of women all over the world.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was on a long train journey.

Everywhere she looked, she saw people staring into their phones. Either that or their laptops or another device.

She looked into her bag where three books lay for her to choose from. She had come prepared.

It was dark outside and there was rain splattering the windows. However, inside it was cosy and warm. Judith sighed in contentment as she escaped into the characters and world offered by her book.

After many stops, she noticed something. There was finally someone who wasn’t using a phone or a laptop. There was someone holding a book and reading it eagerly, just like her.

She caught their eye and smiled at them, united in their love for the literary world.

Dear you,

A love for books is something that has stayed with me all my life.

Some may think that books and libraries are outdated now that we have other things like e-books, audiobooks etc. However, there’s something very special about books.

Reading is more than just a hobby or pastime although it is definitely that too. It has the ability to change us where it matters – on the inside. Reading opens up our minds to possibilities, wonders, opinions, a wealth of knowledge.

When you read a book and immerse yourself in a character, you feel less alone. Nowadays, people are feeling more lonely and more isolated. You only need to grab a book to know that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do.

Reading increases our empathy and our compassion. It helps us to connect to people and understand them in new ways.

Even if you’re not much of a reader, I encourage you today to try reading a book. There’s so many to choose from, you’ll be glad you took a break from life to unwind.

And most of all, you’ll find you’re a better person after you’ve reflected on what you read.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was not having a good day.

The traffic seemed to be holding her back. She hadn’t managed to do anything she’d planned because other things kept getting in the way. The people around her were irritating her. 

She was waiting in the seemingly endless queue to buy lunch when she noticed the lady in front of her talking on the phone loudly, oblivious that it was her turn to be served.

Judith felt herself heat up. She had already been waiting for ages. She needed to get her lunch and get on with her day.

The lady kept talking and was also trying to console the toddler in her hand and two other children clinging to her. 

Judith felt like the children in the sense that she wanted to stamp her feet and cry. This wasn’t fair.

She bit her tongue to stop herself from snapping at the lady in front. 

She glanced outside the window and saw an old couple holding hands. They were walking or rather shuffling along very slowly. But it was their expressions that struck her.

They looked curious, serene and content. They looked like they had all the time in the world to slow down and savour things. They had something she didn’t at that moment. 

They had patience.

Dear you,

Being patient is not easy. We like things to go our way and when life’s circumstances and people get in the way, we do not always respond well. 

We all seem to have a million things to get done every day. Sometimes it can feel like there’s constant disruptions. 

Especially when dealing with the people around us, a lot of patience is required. They make demands of you. 

All the while, we are probably just wanting to get back to our own agendas. 

But what if we stopped and just let ourselves think beyond ourselves? 

When we become impatient and irritated, this leads to us saying things that we will regret later. Much better than this is to learn how to deal with these situations better. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

‘So what do I do now?’

Judith asks this question with her brow furrowed. 

It was a question she had asked at several points along her life when things had changed dramatically. Coping with change was not something that came easily to her. 

She preferred familiarity and comfort but knew that she was required to step out of it if she was to grow as a person. 

In these moments of confusion when she wondered what to do, she tried to remind herself of what actually mattered.

Her values and beliefs. The guiding principles that had led her through life. 

And one thing that always stuck out to her was the value of kindness. 

Dear you,

We are in a position where we are entangling ourselves from the effects of the pandemic and perhaps asking ourselves the same question Judith did.

‘So what do we do now?’ 

This question obviously has numerous answers. A lot of us may be keen to get back to the activities and situations we enjoyed and took for granted before the pandemic started.

However, it is important to realise that this is not the case for everybody. Some people may be reluctant and wary about stepping out into the world again.

The pandemic has affected us all in different ways. But one thing is certain – it has affected us. 

There have been many struggles but also many positive examples of people uniting and helping each other through adversity. 

The value of kindness cannot be underestimated. 

No matter what situation you’re in, it’s always a good idea to be thoughtful towards others’ needs and what they might need during this time. 

We can be more considerate of others to make them feel as safe as possible to venture out and live their life again. 

We got through many challenges of the pandemic together. Let’s keep helping each other in the days ahead to get to a more stable and happier state.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

https://eng.kairos.global/?p=11172

Judith marvelled at how fast her cousins were growing up. 

It only seemed like yesterday that they were babies and now some of them were off to university. 

The idea of being a “grown up” had always perplexed Judith. She remembered as a child just wanting to grow up and become an adult. 

But now, decades later she didn’t feel much like an adult. 

However, she knew she had grown. She had grown but this was much more than just physically. 

Every time something difficult happened but she persevered and endured, she grew. Every time she learnt a new skill or met a new person and listened to them, she grew. 

Every time she overcame her vices and chose virtue, she grew. Every time she forgave someone, she grew. 

She was growing continuously, becoming more herself in the process.

Dear you, 

“From 7-13 February 2022, schools, youth groups, organisations and individuals across the UK will take part in Children’s Mental Health Week. This year’s theme is Growing Together.

Growing Together is about growing emotionally and finding ways to help each other grow. Challenges and setbacks can help us to grow and adapt and trying new things can help us to move beyond our comfort zone into a new realm of possibility and potential. However, emotional growth is often a gradual process that happens over time, and sometimes we might feel a bit ‘stuck’.”

(Info taken from https://www.childrensmentalhealthweek.org.uk/ where you can access more information)

Growing as a person has so many facets to it. It is encouraging to see a week dedicated to looking at this especially in connection with our mental health. 

If we are more aware of the need for growth and how to grow, this can aid us to make better choices.

We never stop growing and making progress as people. So what are some ways in which can you grow today?

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was spending time with her young cousin Ava.

Or rather, she was spending time with Ava staring at her phone.

‘Erm.. When are you going to put your phone down?’

‘Why would I put it down? I need to keep checking my notifications.’

‘Why?’

‘So I know how many people liked my post.’

‘Right, but why?’

‘So then I know who likes me and what posts they like. So I can make more posts like that and get more likes.’

Judith sighed deeply.

Was this what life had come to for Ava? That her actions were motivated by what people online thought, that she lived life through a screen and couldn’t even look Judith in the eye. 

‘You do know it’s not… real. Right?’

‘It’s real people liking my posts’, she snapped.

‘Yeah, the people are real but what they act like online isn’t real. They only put forward one glossy side of themselves. Don’t be fooled.’

Her cousin frowned as though considering this point for the first time.

‘And please, look at me Ava. Let’s have a conversation. Real life interactions and connections can never be replaced by a screen’. 

Ava put down her phone. For now. 

Dear you,

We all put up a façade and only put forward one certain version of ourselves – the one that we think portrays us in the best light. But this can be more harmful than helpful especially in this day.

Social media has become a powerful source barricading into all our lives. The glossy images of other people’s lives leave many feeling envious and dissatisfied with their own lives.

However, we all have to recognise that social media is NOT reality. It is very close to reality so we may get tricked into thinking what is portrayed is real but it’s only part of the story.

The mother with wholesome photos of baked bread probably got no sleep due to her screaming baby. The man with photos of his toned physique went through rigorous training to get there. The celebrity with millions of likes has to also deal with millions of hate messages.

So let’s keep that in mind before we start measuring our worth by our social media presence.

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith had always been a worrier. 

She didn’t know how she had started worrying and she didn’t really know how to stop. Her more relaxed friends always chastised her for her stressed demeanour. 

‘Relax Judith! What’s the worst that could happen?’

This was not a good question to ask Judith. Her mind always filled with nightmare scenarios making her break out in a sweat.

Recently, another friend had asked a more useful question.

‘Worrying cannot change anything apart from make things seem worse for you. And you get to choose whether you worry about something or not. So, why are you choosing to worry?’ 

Judith had thought about it a lot. Why was she intentionally choosing to do something that made things worse? Most of the things, in fact, all of the things she worried about never happened. It was just in her mind tormenting her. 

She had to keep telling herself this, that worry has never helped her and never will. That the less she worried, the better the outcome would be. 

Dear you,

Worrying about the future is something I’m a champion of doing. Futile? Yes. Time consuming? Yes. But I just can’t seem to shake the habit even though I’m better than I used to be.

So why do we do it and more importantly, how do we stop doing it?

We do it because we perceive the future to be more problematic than we can handle. We make this rather illogical conclusion that things will be difficult based on past experiences, pre conceived notions and anxiety.

Worrying about it doesn’t help any situation. In fact, by worrying about it, you’re just making things more difficult than they need to be. Whatever the situation may be, our attitude to it really matters.

Going into something expecting the worst is a stark contrast to going in with a can-do attitude. As uncertain as the future can be, we have control over how we react.

So, why are you choosing to worry? 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊

Judith was unexpectedly asked to babysit her neighbour’s children.

‘Erm… I’m not sure if I can handle them’, she protested weakly.

‘Of course you can, I know it’s last minute but we really appreciate it’, her neighbour beamed at her as she ushered her children in. 

Soon, the house was filled with shrieks and shouts as three children started ransacking through all her possessions. It was going to be a long afternoon. 

‘Why is everything black?’ 

‘Why don’t you have small people here?’

‘Can we have ice cream?’

‘Why do you have so many books?’

These were just some of the many many questions she was asked by the young children. Even though she felt flustered and out of her depth, Judith had to admit that spending time with children was refreshing.

In fact, they made her laugh with abandon, think deeply and she felt comfortable to be as silly and imaginative as she’d liked. 

Dear you,

We may have the notion that children learn from adults which is certainly true but there’s so much that adults can learn from children too. This might seem puzzling. After all, when we’re kids, we are told to aspire to be like adults.

It is not so much the behaviours of a child that we must try to emulate but the joy and innocence behind their actions. A child sees the world through a lens of possibilities and wonders. They are curious and they are hopeful. 

Most of us have been run down and bored by the daily routines of lives. But children are exempt from this. They approach situations with wonder and awe, something we unfortunately lose as we grow up and become more cynical. 

Spending time with children can be challenging. However, it can also be a real opportunity to see the world in a completely different way. They notice things we don’t even glance at, they ask questions that make us think and ultimately, they shine as beacons of hope for a brighter future. 

Thank you for reading. And don’t forget, spread your smile 😊